Why I'm Getting My Boobs!

I’m getting my boobs…back….well eventually. August was National Breastfeeding Month and I took some time to celebrate all the time I have been breastfeeding. I planned to get this post out a while back, but honestly I just have had zero motivation to do so. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so the timing feels fitting to talk about boobs. Did you know breastfeeding actually reduces your risk of getting breast cancer. Now before we touch on my little celebration I wanted to touch on my relationship with breastfeeding. So if boobs are not your thing, this may not be the blog for you because it may be a little TMI. You were warned.

I have a love hate relationship with breastfeeding. It is something so special, and there are moments it has made me feel like a super mom but then other moments where it has tested my mental health. I have been breastfeeding for over two and a half years. I was tandem nursing for a year, but now I have finally weaned my son. It was a hard decision to wean my son but I felt like it was the right time. He was literally throwing a full on tantrum when he wanted to nurse and he is now almost half my size, so it was difficult to fight him from pulling my shirt down. I thought I would want to wean my daughter shortly after but my feelings have been very mixed. When you become a mom it is so easy to quit taking care of yourself. How was I able to nourish two babies when I couldn’t even nourish myself? No joke, breastfeeding and pumping took up so much of my time I often forgot to even eat.

Pregnancy and labor were hard but oh man no one let me know how hard breastfeeding would be. I thought my son had this amazing latch because he just seemed to know what he was doing. Little did I know it was a shallow latch, and although he was able to get milk it was a no good situation for my boobies. I got blisters, no one told me I could even get blisters on my nipples. New mom, wearing a diaper, sleep deprived, and bleeding from what felt like my whole body. That was the beginning of my breastfeeding journey, but for some reason the idea that I could literally feed my child got me past the pain. With my daughter I had never stopped nursing, so I guess my body already had it together. There was no bleeding or blisters the second time around. I cannot explain to you guys how exhausting breastfeeding was and still is. Honestly, some days I would get so frustrated because I felt like a human pacifier. It is okay to not love every moment you breastfeed.

I know in my head that fed is best, meaning you don’t have to breastfeed. However, there is still some underlying psychological mom guilt I feel when I think about stopping. My body can literally create exactly what my babies need, so how could I turn to a powder from a can? I know for some mom’s that choice is easy to make, but for me it just hasn’t been. Fed is best, and I’m not here to deter you from breastfeeding but I think it is important to not make it seem just as some beautiful journey and instead let you know some of the reality. The choice is totally up to you and what is best for your lifestyle.

Breastfeeding is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I have lived two years of my life based not only on my kids, but a nursing/pumping schedule. I thought I hit the jackpot buying wireless pumps but even that was annoying. The Elvie pump had too many parts and the Willow pump looked so big on my chest it was ridiculous. I have nursed covered and uncovered in public which also something that was intimidating. With a newborn it was easy to use a nursing cover over then, but as each baby grew they would pull the dang thing off, cry to see, or I would just fight them to stretch it big enough to not flash the world. Not that I’m really even flashing anyone without a cover. I’m a member of the itty bitty titty committee so for the most part my baby’s head has been bigger than my breast. I would still get nervous about nursing in public though, cover or not. People will glance, but I noticed most will turn right away. No one ever was rude or ugly to me and I also learned how accommodating some public places can be for nursing mothers.

One day, I’ll get new boobs but for now I’m trying to enjoy the ability I have had to nurse my babies. Like I said, I did do a photoshoot to celebrate this journey and what better way to celebrate than with a BOOBIE cake. It was delicious and gave all of us a big smile. I hope I did not scare you with this post, and if you have breast-fed before I hope you related. If you are expecting or are on your breastfeeding journey I am all ears if you have any questions.

These lovely pictures were taken by Monica Plata and you can find her here

https://www.facebook.com/AmeliaLuciaPhotography