Why You Feel Unappreciated on Mother's Day
If your on my Facebook page, you may have seen that I ran a poll asking if stepmoms should be celebrated on Mother’s Day. The poll suggested yes, but it is profanely basis as most of my engagement is with other stepmoms. I think the answer to that question can be a sliding scale for both mother’s and stepmother’s. There are so many factors that go into the role of being a “mom.” I’m not here to justify who should or should not be celebrated, but more so talk about those uncomfortable feeling’s that come with mother’s day.
My first experience was mother’s day was when I was pregnant and I had been acting as a maternal role for my stepdaughter for a bit. My husband didn’t get me a card or anything. My love language is definitely receiving gifts, so the lack there of caused my pregnant self to be extremely emotionally triggered. I’m not sure what exactly I would have needed that day but I wanted to feel as if I was doing the right thing. Now that I have my own biological children I have learned that feeling unappreciated is a feeling both moms and stepmoms deal with.
I’ve faced the harsh reality that I may not ever be 100% sure of if I’m doing the right thing as a mom, but I know I am trying my best. I know I am a kick ass mom and that’s really all the validation I need. I promise it’s all you need too. It may take some time to and a few failed mother’s day to realize it, but it’ll happen.
What I’m going to tell you next if something you really need to absorb. The lack of admiration you may receive from your husband, kids, or step kids, on mother’s. day does not define the appreciation or love they have for you. Do not value their feelings by a single gift or a single day. Just today my mother’s day gifts all included an as seen on TV there. Maybe, not the sentimental idea I had in mind but the thought was there. Maybe in the past I’d get upset at my husband for my new pedi-egg not screaming I’m appreciated, but I have learned his appreciation for me is not shown in gifts, but in kisses on the forehead and quality time together. My stepdaughter obviously spends mother’s day with her mom. I’m not sure if I will even hear from her today, but that is okay. She is a child and mother’s day is a day that kind of has to be orchestrated by dad. Same thing with father’s day, I’ll be the one running around or reminding the kids for the upcoming holiday. If your mother’s day doesn’t go as planned or not how you expected it does not mean you are not valued or not appreciated. Take the pressure off worrying about everyone’s validation this year. Mom, woman, human, I really believe you must set a standard for yourself and hold yourself to it. If you do that, then it says more about you than anyone else can .
Happy Mother’s Day! If you have’t been told you are appreciated, you are loved, you are worthy, well you are!