Why Coparenting Can Be Crap!

My family missed out on our summer vacation because of coparenting. When I married my husband I never thought of having to ask permission to take his daughter on vacation. Not sure why I assumed everything would be so easy and everyone would communicate and get along. Right now, that is not the case. Communication could not be worse, and now I’m realizing the repercussions of that. I could of planned a vacation without my stepdaughter, but that would of made me feel like an asshole. So, I did make the choice to wait not realizing how long we would wait for a simple answer and by the time I could book prices became outrageous. When I realized my kids were missing out I got extremely angered, but what could I do? This is where those mind shift changes kicked into high gear for me.

Normally I would take it out on my husband, when issues with his ex arise. Sometimes, I still do but I constantly have to remind myself he is not responsible for his exes actions. I also have to try to change my perspective and try to understand how she feels, but that is easier said than done. When you are going through custody issues both sides are always on defense mode. I won’t lie all of this really sucks. I am fighting my own demons to not get so upset because that then only triggers me to being a bad mom and even a bad wife. I am literally reminding myself that things are hard right now, and they may stay hard, but I have so many other things to focus on. I have a nice home, healthy kids, a supportive family, so harping on these coparenting mishaps just doesn’t make sense to my anymore.

Coparenting can be crap, and many times things are going to be clear as mud. I am learning that is okay. I no longer give into the this idea that things will get better. Things may not get better, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get better. Better at being patient, at handling situations, as a person. Coparenting is difficult with even my own husband, because there are days we disagree. I truly believe gaining the role as a stepmom is a part of my life to help me grow as a person. I don’t want to lie and act as if I have a handle on things these days, but I am trying and I am working on it. Things in your life may not be the way you want them to be, but I can tell you that things don’t have to be what you consider ideal. Do you know how we build endurance? We endure! That’s what I’m doing, working every day to live my best life. I know many of you may have other things you are battling but again we are all trying to get through the thick of it. You can get through it. I’m sharing my struggles online to remind others that even when things are hard and your life feels out of control there is always something you can control, for me it’s my mindset. You will have better days, and some days are going to suck but no matter what you are living.