Why I Had My Babies at Home!
As soon as I found out I was pregnant with my first baby, there was one thing I knew I wanted to do. That one thing was to have a home birth. When I told Martin, my husband, my idea for birth he immediately shut it down. He had witnessed two births in the hospital setting and the idea of having a child at home was completely taboo to him. At the time I felt like since my body had to do the work that I should get to to aim for the birth experience I wanted. Luckily, he at least agreed to meet a midwife. My midwife was so knowledgeable it gave Martin a sense of peace and after I showed him the research he agreed to a birth center birth. I was willing to compromise on that, but once Martin realized the birth center was actually just like another home he insisted on just having the birth in our own home. You may be thinking I got my way, and in fact I did. Not every woman is able to have the birth they want or the birth they picture, but I was extremely fortunate and have now had two babies right at home.
Martin and I tried for a bit to get pregnant and during that time I binged on researching about birth. Then once I was pregnant I just kept digging basically until I gave birth. I did this by watching so many birth videos, Facebook groups where women would share their experiences, and documentaries. It was really empowering to see women give birth naturally and it was a really supporting network. I didn’t only focus on home births, but heard women’s stories from no pain management to emergency c-sections. I knew I couldn’t plan my birth but I also knew what I would prefer when the time came.
In the hospital setting I realized women were not allowed to eat during labor. I didn’t’ understand how these women were basically going through a marathon and they had to rely on ice chips for energy. At home I knew I could eat as I pleased. It may sound silly to some, but not having the option to eat took a lot of comfort from me.
I also saw in the majority of hospital births women labored on their back with minimal movement. When you are in labor you have to help your baby position and move down the birth canal, that often means you have to move. I knew if I got an epidural I would be stuck in a bed and possibly not in an optimal birthing position. I felt being at home would allow me to move as freely as I wanted. I also didn’t want any forced pushing when the time came. Yanno, the 1, 2, 3 push over and over. Pretty much every hospital birth I witnessed the doctor told the women when to push and when to stop. From my research, I realized your body will push when it’s time and not necessarily on a countdown. When my son came my midwife guided me through pushing but my body did it’s own thing. With my daughter I pretty much commentated my birth to my birthing team.
Hospitals tend to lead to more interventions during birth. If you don’t dilate quick enough they may want to start medication and sometimes that’s not really needed if you water hadn’t broke. I just really saw hospital births as very rushed and I was seeing women go through labor for days at home. I was one of those women, I was a dilated to a six for three days. I’m almost positive in a hospital setting they would have wanted to speed up my labor if I was there. I just wanted time and I knew my midwife would give me that as long as baby was okay.
I really liked the idea of birthing in water and it was clear water seemed to be some sort of natural epidural during birth. None of the hospitals near me offered water births. That really turned me off from the hospital. It’s funny though because with my son I ended up giving birth on my bedroom floor and not making it back to the birth pool in time. However, with my daughter I had her in my jacuzzi tub and it was exactly how I had initially envisioned my birth. I will say water helped tremendously with both of my labors and I’am extremely grateful I had that option to ease the pain.
Choosing to have a home birth meant I would have a midwife. I felt much more comfortable with a midwife than a doctor. With a midwife to me it can be easier to actually be able to build a relationship and communicate easier. I was able to text my midwife, so if I had any concerns or questions she was quick to respond. When I went to visits I wasn’t waiting forever to be seen for ten minutes. My midwife really took the time to explain things to me and it felt organic.
When you birth at home there’s no limit on visitors. You could have a whole party around if you wanted. For my first birth it was just my mom, aunt, and nana. For the second it was just my husband and I. With COVID rules many people could not have anyone with them during birth and in some places only their spouse. I did give birth during the pandemic and risking being alone or testing positive and my baby being taken from me really turned me off from hospital births during this time. I know guidelines are often changing but with having a home birth I know the decision of who is around is up to me.
Laboring at home meant I got to stay in my place of comfort. I wanted to be home where I would be familiar with everything. When the time came I did get peace and I wasn’t introduced by shift changes or different staff. My midwife would check the baby’s heart beat and as labor progressed I got to do my own thing. I slept in my bed, moved around, listened to music, and even managed to do my
I am currently 6 months pregnant and although this pregnancy has been a lot harder this go around I just feel the birth will be easier. I could be totally off about this feeling but it's just an inch. I have loved birth of my birthing experiences and they were totally different. I share my little opinion on these topics because it’s what helped me. If you're pregnant you deserve the right to an informed birth. Learn what you’re willing to and make the decision that’s best for you and baby! I do understand birth is complicated and there are many different birthing outcomes, but that is okay too.
If you’re curious on any details or have any questions I’m always an open door!
